Reincarnation

I have been in terrible pain lately from my disabilities. Earlier when  I recorded and told Josh I was tired of living in pain and don't know how much more I can take. He said "Don't even think like that, if you don't finish your life there then you'll return right back there again and we won't be together. I said I can't live like this any more then he said "you have to keep living or I will be lonely and lost to each other forever. My questions are how many times have I done this before if any. And who made these horrible rules?? They seem cruel and insane. Did I agree to this over there at some point?? Why would I agree to something like this? That keeps true loves apart, keeps people living in horrible pain if they are to get to paradise and not have to keep coming back and doing it again. I'm sorry but I'm very angry at whoever made things this way, I mean what is the point??? But then I realized.. What if the reason is the EVP contact that we have? What if I took my life and the consequences of it were because I had communication from him on the other side and I took my life. That is forbidden because they would then look at it as if the communication from the other side causes issues. Josh would also get in trouble for it. So I'll just remain here and wait for my life to end naturally.