Josh had been gone about a month and I was not dealing with it well at all. I had requested the police and autopsy report and his death scene photos. I just needed to know exactly what had happened. I needed to know he didn't take his life. I thought maybe he did because he was very depressed leading up to it. He was posting strange things on his fb and seemed extremely out of it. The night before he passed we had texted. He confided something very personal and upsetting to him and I was not supportive at all. Then he was gone the next day. I was torn up thinking I may have been the catalyst for his sudden death. He died of an overdose of opiates. Just like Prince. It was fentanyl. Thinking that I'd never see him again to be able to tell him how sorry I was that I hadn't been more supportive just floored me. I could hardly breathe. It was the most pain I'd ever felt.
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